Did You Know?

All Saints' Day, or All Hallow's Eve, began as an ancient Celtic and later a Roman harvest festival. When the Irish immigrated to the United States in the1800's, they brought with them a Halloween tradition of lighting candles in turnips to keep spirits at bay. Finding turnips in short supply in America, however, they began carving pumpkins and thus the Jack-O-Lantern was born.

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     A man was walking home alone late one night when he hears a BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.. .behind him.
     Walking faster he looks back and makes our the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...
     Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind him...faster...faster...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.
     He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
     However, the coffin crashes through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man.
     Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
     With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything...but all he can find is a box of cough drops!
Desperate, he throws the cough drops at the coffin...
...and of course
...the coffin stops.

Submitted by Zaxgram

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A Ghost Story.....Happy Halloween

     An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his system upset.  Upon making several false- alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided that the latest feeling was another false-alarm and decided to stay put.  He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
     A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms wildly, which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a security guard at the hospital, who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the hell was that all about?"
     Still staring down, the drunk replied, "I don't know but I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost!"

Submitted by DkSdBubba

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At 5PM one Halloween afternoon, my dental hygienist realized that she wouldn't make it to the store in time to get snacks for trick-or-treaters.  So she took home some free samples from the office supply cabinet.  That night she handed out dozens of toothbrushes, toothpaste, and dental floss.  The next year, although she had bags of chips and popcorn, not one child came knocking at her door.

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You might be a Redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.

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    One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as "Rocky" in boxing gloves and satin shorts.  Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more.  "Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep several minutes ago?" I asked.
     "Yes," he replied, "but now I'm Rocky II."

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Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses? -- George Carlin

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    A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. 
    He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him. 
    By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. 
    Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being
played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. 
    By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. 
    Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. 
    "Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!"

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Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

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Here is our daughter and her friends with their Halloween pumpkin carving project! Great job! (photos in thumbnail view.)

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The house looks empty, There's no one around.
  There isn't a sight, There isn't a sound.
In the darkness each year I feel the same shame --
 Having eaten the treats before the kids came!

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• Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
  Because he didn't have any guts.

• What kind of music do mummies listen to?
  Wrap!

• What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
  A wash-and-wear wolf.

• What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
  They boo-kle their seatbelts.

• What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
  Count Duckula.

• What do you call someone who puts poison in another's corn flakes?
  A cereal killer.

• Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
  Because if they were small and round and smooth, they'd be M&M's.

• Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
  Because everyone was a goblin!

• How did the ghost patch his sheet?
  With a pumpkin patch.

• What do witches use on their hair?
  Scare spray.

• What is as sharp as a vampire's fang?
  His other fang.

• What do the birds sing on Halloween?
  Twick or Tweet.

• What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?
  Tombstones.

• Why should a skeleton drink ten glasses of milk a day?
  It's good for the bones.

• What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween?
  Pillowcases.

• What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
  Squash.

• Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?
  Their bats flew away.

• What was the witch's favorite subject in school?
  Spelling.

• What does a vampire fear most?
  Tooth decay.

• Where did the vampire open his savings account?
  At a blood bank.

• Where do mummies go for a swim?
  To the Dead Sea.

• What is Transylvania?
  Dracula's terror-tory.

• Where does Dracula water ski?
  On Lake Erie.

• What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-lantern by its circumference?
  Pumpkin pi.

• Why are there fences around cemeteries?
  Because people are dying to get in.

• Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
  He didn't have the guts.

• What does a ghost eat for lunch?
  A boo-loney sandwich.

• How does the silly witch know what time it is?
  She looks at her witch-watch.

• What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
  Don't spook until your spooken to.

• What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?
  An amoeboo!

• How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
  By blood vessels.

• Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?
  Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

• What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
  He was repossessed.

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• Don't trick-or-treat alone. Always go in groups.  Younger children should always be accompanied by an adult.

• Beware of confining costumes.  Avoid masks that obstruct vision and costumes that constrict movement.

• Be visible!  Carry a flashlight and apply reflective strips to your costume so drivers can see you at night.

• Do not enter!  NEVER go inside a stranger's house or car for any reason. Only accept treats outside the door.

• Have parents inspect all treats before eating.  Do not eat any unwrapped or suspicious-looking candy.

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Halloween Greeting Card!
Cute page to send to your friends!
www.morphmaster.com/halloween.htm

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What's wrong with this picture?
www.rumdesign.com/wrong
or
www.tekzoned.com/whatswrong

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Halloween Costume Ideas
www.angelfire.com/planet/halloween

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Happy Halloween!
www.bry-backmanor.org/holidayfun/ween.html

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The History & Customs of Halloween
http://wilstar.com/holidays/hallown.htm

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Vertigo's Fun House
Chills and Thrills Web Site
www.geocities.com/vertigo9312000
Horror, Halloween, and dark themed animated gifs, horror-related imagery,
horror movie and horror related wallpapers and more!

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WONDERFUL!
Our friend, Sassy, has a great Halloween page...with Tips!
http://www.sassy1.com/holidays/halloween/index.htm

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Here's a link for
Halloween Safety Tips
www.sosnet.com/safety/halloween.tip.html

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The Eyes of a TombStone
Great Epitaphs - Funny - Great Graphics & Sound
www.angelfire.com/ny3/BronxZoo/Tombstones.html

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Free Graphics: Halloween Haunted House

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Halloween History, Games, Free Printable Activities and Lesson Plans
www.halloween-party-fun.com

Free holiday lesson plans and games
http://partysupplieshut.com/education.htm

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This page was last edited 10/02/07.